yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
