everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
