I didn't shave. On purpose
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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