What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
