Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
