We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
