Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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