The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize