You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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