There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
