Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Couch. On fire.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize