it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
