After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
