Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
