i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
