I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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