therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
why is half of my head shaved?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize