the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
