I think I am morally bankrupt
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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