I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
we're so committed to being not committed
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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