i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
