i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
