So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
