she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
babies were throwing up all over the place
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
