So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize