He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
