I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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