these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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