Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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