My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
