This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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