You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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