Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
