If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm always down for nudity.
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