I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
