Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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