You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
