Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
