hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Who died my cat blue again?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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