So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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