This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
