There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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