that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize