like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
