btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
