Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
