why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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