To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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