3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
