Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
