Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
