You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
