Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
