I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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