morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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