Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
