Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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