How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You ruined the universe
Randomize