the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you would pick up someone in the library
my sisters under your porch take her home
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
