would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
