My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
