what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize