so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
