wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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