The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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