All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
