Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
