i don't like sucking hair
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
we're so committed to being not committed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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