Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
this will be a night to untag.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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